Wednesday, August 1, 2012

" MY ALTER EGOS " ( Part Five )

                                                           "My Alter Egos" (Part Five)

Malina is surely the one that has been running the show lately. I can sense her anger getting stronger and her resentment  becoming more malicious by the day. She seems to have no more regards towards living by her codes. She seems to be transforming and mutating into a different character than what she used to be.

This scares me, because she seems to have an even darker side than what she had before!
The things she would have never considered of doing, she is now considering.
She feels different to me in a very eerie way. Destructive and no longer with any sense of that 'protective' nature that she had before.

I don't know if she has snapped and if it's too late...
I don't know what my job as 'The driver' now entails.
I haven't heard anything from Amy herself, but I was wrong about her, Chloe and Danielle being gone. Thank God!

I caught a glimpse of Amy and Chloe this weekend, but only for a brief moment.
I also heard from Danielle, which gave me some peace. I sensed that Danielle wasn't happy about a few things but she wasn't clear on what they were.

If all three are still existing , then there has to be some hope of straightening Malina out.
With Amy quiet and aloof, this could only mean she has been hurt deeply.
Then there is Chloe , who is not her usual self either. Did she get hurt too?

My mind is going into over-drive with all this silence from the three of them.
Could they be angry with me, their physical driver? Could I have done something to hurt them in my quest to get them to their final destination?

I have been perplexed for quite some time now. I'm doing a lousy job at keeping them together as a team within myself, which has never happened before!
I know that if Malina decides to take it out on me, then I will have to 'Fight' her with all my might.
That will not be easy, as we are all connected and know each other's weaknesses and strengths.

Malina is capable of doing things that I'm not. If she wins, it could destroy me physically!
If that happens, then none of them shall arrive at their destination.
For the moment, I still have my own distinct thoughts, but for how long?

Malina is very persuasive with her convictions and now that Danielle is staying silent, there is no one to argue Malina's ideas. It seems to be between her and I now, and she is rapidly taking over each day.
I'm still able to distinguish her thoughts from my own, but I grow weary with the constant struggle...
I find myself fighting against her intrusions, with every ounce of energy that I have.
I must regain control over my body and mind, if I don't...
May God forgive the things that I may do wrong!

( To be continued )...

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